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The Dark Side and I Don’t Mean The Force
By Timothy A. Wilson | July 15, 2008
Have you ever lashed out at someone in anger only to regret it later? Bad things happen when we respond angrily. People have been hurt even killed. Consider the death of Thomas Beckett Archbishop of Canterbury, when – his friend – King Henry II said in anger rhetorically, “Who will rid me of this meddlesome priest?” Some overly ambitious knights heard the king words, thinking he wanted Beckett dead went into the church and killed him.
Dealing with our dark side is difficult enough. For those of you who are in positions of leadership, not giving into your dark side is most difficult. Once you travel down that path, it’s difficult to turn away. As leaders, managers, supervisors, or team leaders, you need to find ways of controlling your disappointment and anger with your subordinates.
Abraham Lincoln often slandered and libeled had more than enough justification to strike out against his detractors and attackers. Instead, he would sit at his desk write a letter which refuted the attacks then would walk away never sending the letter. This approach allowed him an avenue to vent his frustration at the unjust criticism he would receive from the press.
At some time in our lives, we have to deal with our “dark side” the part of us that seeks revenge on those who - in our mind - wronged us in some way or manner. We should learn from Lincoln, write a letter then put it in a drawer and never mail it. The letter writing will help us get a perspective on what happen and even help you to formulate a strategy for dealing with the person or persons you feel have wronged you.
Those of you who are managers, supervisors, and team leaders also need to become skilled at holding back the urge to lash out when your subordinates or teammates mess up. Blaming is easy finding out the cause of the mishap is the difficult part. When you determine the cause of the problem you’re able to implement a fix that will result in eliminating the problem.
Lincoln had to go through several generals before he found Grant. With every general who failed to perform as expected Lincoln he eased them out while giving them time recover, if they didn’t show they could he finally replaced them but did so with a level of dignity.
We must learn to control our dark side, it’s not easy but necessary.
Topics: ACTing Right, Accountability, Leadership |
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